A collection of written works by the one and only EsotericWombat All works herein are Copyright © 2005 Patrick Desmond... I'm cool with reposts, as long as they're attributed... in the extreme case that anyone finds anything here worth repeating.

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Unnamed Play, Scene 1

BRIAN’S APARTMENT: A decidedly chaotic dwelling, where the only thing that isn’t in total disarray is the bookshelf and his books. BRIAN slouches on the couch, reading one such book. There is a knock at the door. Brian at first seems not to notice. The knock comes again.

MARIE (offstage) Open the fucking door!

BRIAN suddenly becomes alert, and walks towards the door

BRIAN Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore, But the fact is, I was napping, and so gently you came rapping, And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door, That I scarce was sure I heard you.

Here he opens wide the door. Enter MARIE, who silently glares at BRIAN .

BRIAN Er… I wasn’t expecting you?

MARIE That’s odd, because I seem to have this vague memory of telling you I’d be coming. About nine times. So don’t give me any of your bullshit. Do you have it?

BRIAN Do I have what?

MARIE My key, you jackass! Why the fuck else would I be here?

BRIAN Well, I suppose a friendly chat is out of the question?

MARIE Fuck you. Here’s your key. Where’s mine?

BRIAN I don’t know.

MARIE You don’t know?

BRIAN I don’t know.

MARIE Jesus fucking Christ what’s wrong with you? You knew I was coming. You knew why I was coming.

BRIAN This is true.

MARIE You said that you had it.

BRIAN That I did

MARIE And now you don’t know where my key is.

BRIAN Not a clue.

MARIE What the hemorrhaging fuck has changed about the status and location of my key since I called you?

BRIAN My knowledge thereof?

MARIE So you only just realized that you didn’t know where it was.

BRIAN Correct

MARIE And naturally, you’ve been looking for it since you came to this realization, and that’s why you didn’t bother to call me and tell me not to come to this shit heap you call an apartment for no reason?

BRIAN Naturally

MARIE Except, you weren’t looking.

BRIAN I wasn’t?

MARIE No, (picks up the book) you were reading Macbeth for the thousandth fucking time (reads mockingly from the book) Life is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. (closes the book) Boo. Fucking. Hoo.

BRIAN Oh yeah, you should just tell Shakespeare to quit his bitching

MARIE Not Shakespeare. You.

BRIAN I didn’t write that.

MARIE No, but you’ve been living it, Brian. To you, each drop of rain that falls on your head is a personal insult.

BRIAN Is your name Winnie? Are you covered in mud, holding a balloon? Are you looking for honey?

MARIE (cutting him off) I’m looking for my fucking key, Brian! I should at this moment be on the train, either going home or to some bar, to make a valiant attempt to drink away the knowledge that I ever slept with you. Instead, I have to come here and suffer your bullshit once more.

BRIAN What the hell do you mean, suffer my bullshit? All I said was that I don’t know where your key is.

MARIE But you never knew, did you?

BRIAN Well…

MARIE Well… what? You didn’t, did you? Why the fuck did you let me come here for no reason?

BRIAN I…

MARIE Oh let me guess. You thought that if you could just get me to come to your apartment you could have me back. We’d have some heartwarming reunion and then everything’s back to the way it was? What fucking Friends episode did you get this from?

BRIAN They never did that on Friends.

MARIE So you admit it?

BRIAN Not at all.

MARIE Then why the fuck am I here?

BRIAN For this. (takes out the key)

MARIE So I was right?

BRIAN Don’t flatter yourself. I just wanted to see you get pissed off one last time. You have no clue how cute it is. Oh its true, I thought I wanted you back, but I realized something. For three years, there’s always been something wrong with me. I wasn’t fit enough, or neat enough, or ambitious enough, or whatever the fuck it was that day. You really got off on belittling me, didn’t you?

MARIE Well, I had to pick up your slack somehow

BRIAN Nice. Here. (tosses the key to MARIE)

MARIE fumbles, but catches it. BRIAN sits back down and picks up his book. MARIE begins to say something, but BRIAN doesn’t even look up. She exits hastily, slamming the door behind her. Brian looks up from his book and lets out a sigh.

Fade out.

6 comments:

Presley Bennett said...

Comments? do you want them? The following is offered merely as thoughts to be dismissed quickly if they are of no value to you:

1. I'd clean up her language. too many fucks and fucking...I just don't think the profanity is necessary to the scene and it's distracting, reading it and so I think it would be acted out too I think. You don't even need it. And it shows possibly that you want to demonstrate her exasperation but this seems an inadequate way to do it.

No, (picks up the book) you were reading Macbeth for the thousandth fucking time (reads mockingly from the book) Life is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. (closes the book) Boo. Fucking. Hoo.

Maybe something here in the way of a rhetorical question? "Who are you, Brian? and what is the point?"

to show her disconnect from his reality...which I think is the point of this scene. He's lifeless, escaping into Shakespeare, she's frustrated but very alive

Presley Bennett said...

you don't describe her. Shouldn't there be a paren... Marie is very tall, slender, Carolyn Bessette-ish looking, expensively dressed, with a look of disdain marring her pretty features.

Presley Bennett said...

I don't get the Winnie reference? doesn't mean that it wouldn't be understood by others.

Presley Bennett said...

I'd lose the sigh at the end.

Unknown said...

I have thought about cleaning up some of the language, but I don't think I can manage a PG with this anyways. It certainly depends on who's playing the part. The girl who read for Marie in class nailed it, and for the most part it went smoothly, but you never know who shows up to audition for these things. If I end up actually putting this thing on its feet I'll definately have to tweak the way she talks depending on the actress.

Hmm... yeah, I could definately see myself putting something like that in there.

As for describing her, one of the things that we were taught is not to overwrite character description and setting, so as not to limit potential productions. Your point is well taken though.

As for the Winnie reference, I may be cutting it anyways, because its a reference to when Pooh soaked himself in mud and pretended to be a rain cloud. So it may be a bit emo-ish anyways.

Presley Bennett said...

well I know you're doing this for a class but maybe for us here in cyberland you could add what you envision the actors to look like.

If I'm getting this, what we have are two people who probably were initially attracted to each other because they were very different. That's now long since faded and this scene is ultimately a reflection of how little they know or understand about each other. And I think possibly the point is that he still very much cares about her, she cares nothing for him...and so he can't be as mean and as angry as she is, so for example we have him trying to be kind of cute in the beginning (maybe doing that with a phony British accent or something) and she's just done with him